I haven’t felt compelled to write about any of my dreams for
a long time – as they all seemed insignificant. The last dream that took my
imagination by storm upon awakening was nearly 6 months ago about a skyscraper
that had an entire floor that moved like an elevator. I became entranced by
skyscrapers but still, no desire to write or remember as it was more of a push
in my curiosity. Last night’s dream was different, so I’ll cut to the chase and
try to be as concise yet detailed as possible.
I have no clue where this dream began. I felt as though I was on a
“tour” of a new home, a housewarming of sorts. I was guided by a beautiful
woman with dark curly brown hair. She was very friendly but didn’t tell me her
name. I looked around the house which had an oddly nostalgic feeling like my
first house in Lenox, wooden panels in some places, somewhat small hallways
leading to other rooms. I wandered down one hallway which had an impossibly
slim entrance, I could see into the next room but was afraid to walk in because
I felt as though it wasn’t my “place” to snoop around. This reminded me a lot
of my father’s bedroom in our house, someplace I’ll likely never see again, so
I suppose that is a natural emotion. I crept back out and saw another small
gateway but again, felt timid to go looking around by myself. The woman warmly
explained that I’d like to go there as it was very beautiful. We walked through
a small doorway which led to a gigantic outdoor balcony/deck over the water. It
was shaped in a triangle starting small at the entrance but becoming much, much
larger at the opposite side. It looked identical to my favorite fishing spot as
a kid, this slanted rock area that I used to climb out onto at the lake across
from the golf course. I felt very comfortable there and looked out onto the
waters. Everything was silky black, but seemed to glow with elegance like the
waters were alive. As though the sun was always setting or rising there and
there was just enough light to cascade the entire balcony in a beautiful golden
hue. It felt absolutely magical. The woman looked at me and told me these exact
words. “Your father and I spend many mornings out here” – she didn’t tell me
what they did, I somehow just assumed at that moment they sat together and
enjoyed the same feeling I was having. She began walking back inside and as I
followed her she asked me what I do for a living. All I said was “I work in
television promos” and she replied “you must keep very busy” – and I nodded and
that was the last thing I really remember. When we walked back inside I think I
actually departed from that place. Although part of me feels like we were going
to a family dinner. I don’t actually recall the dinner or speaking with my
father – he was just sitting at the table, ready to eat. In that moment I knew he was happy, to have
the company of such a lovely woman, and I didn’t sense any sort of loneliness.
She was such a warm soul. I wish I was able to talk to my dad, but perhaps the
timing just wasn’t right. Because most dreams when I do, it’s as though he is
still alive and I’m in the past. This dream it was clear I was in the present
and there was a barrier keeping me from communicating. I think she was there to
interject, perhaps in a tough love kind of way. We’ve both changed, I’m sure,
because a lot can happen in 11 years. And I only knew him for 15. So I’m
probably still a kid to him, maybe he doesn’t want to see me all grown up. I
don’t know. I feel as though this dream was very real, and that place exists,
not just in my heart or mind, but it’s as though he retired there. It’s not
what I expected, and maybe there’s more I haven’t seen, but the morning water
there is absolutely mesmerizing. I’m hope he looks at it and remembers us.
Because we will never forget him.
